6.29.2009

Open Doors

My mom likes to quote that age old saying, “When God closes a door, He opens a window” or something to that affect. I’ve a difficult time hearing that saying as the timeliness of its utterance usually sucks coupled with the fact it rarely helps me see through to any truth. It still hurts when a door is slammed on you whether God did it or not. I’m not one to crawl through windows as a typical answer to my problems so I’m not keen on the solution much.

Geography poses a problem here, too. It depends on which side of the door/window I'm standing. Am I outside looking into a house? Or am I inside looking to get out? Typically, locks on doors are on the inside, so I can’t see a problem with a closed door if I’m already safely inside someplace. If outside, I don’t desire to have a ‘breaking and entering’ charge on my record.

You see my problem.

However, I do concede to Mom (and maybe God) the intention of what she is trying to communicate. I get the message.

So, in honor of Mom and those doors all over the world, I wrote a simple poem.
At first glance, all are doors wide open,
With endless possibilities each day.
Through years, one finds, no door’s sovereign.
False opens tend to look some that way.

Soon, doors once open seem closed,
By time or by fate or by choice.
The truth is so rarely disclosed,
Yet, that last open door is your voice.

The hard part is hearing the thing.
The ring of the right thing to do.
Opportunity as a threshold for change,
Now a place to restart again new.

6.26.2009

My Punk Lyrics

I turned on my college station the today. I haven’t listened to KCPR in a long time. It seems the only venue for music listening these days is either in my car or playing name that tune with my girlfriend as we leave The Dish on the 80’s channel. In the car, I usually chose my mp3’s or a CD. So, I haven’t seen the left of the dial in a long time.

Today, it isn’t the Burnt Dog Radio of old. However, during my chase across town for a samich’ at lunch I gave it the old college try again and loved it. I’m not sure who or what the band was, but it was fun to hear punk again.

It was punk the way punk should be; hard-driving, harsh lyrics, with anger pointed toward pop culture and convention. Screaming lyrics into a mic. Punk.

I tried to imagine me standing at CBGB’s now as the lead singer and lyricist of a modern punk band. Today, the lyrics I’d scream into a mic might go something like this.

BOUGHT ANOTHER CHINESE CHICKEN SALAD DRESSING AND I ALREADY HAD ONE IN THE FRIDGE, DAMN!
I STILL LIKE CHEESE, BUT SHOULDN’T EAT IT BECAUSE OF HIGH CHOLESTEROL.
STUPID LIPITOR IS EXPENSIVE, BUT I PILL SPLIT, I HATE PILLS.
I HAVE A PLUMBING ISSUE UNDER MY SINK, LEAKED THROUGH TO THE KITCHEN BELOW. THIS COULD MEAN MOLD. BUT IT IS A RENTAL SO I DON’T CARE. I JUST DON’T CARE.
DIVORCE SUCKED. I’M HAPPIER NOW ANYWAY. BUT IT SUCKED.
CELL PHONE DOESN’T HAVE GOOD SERVICE AT HOME. I REFUSE TO BUY A LANDLINE.
NEW BRAKES ON AN OLD CAR ARE EXPENSIVE. F-WORD.
TWISTED MY NECK CAMPING. CHIROPRACTER HELPED. STILL HURTS SOME THOUGH. OUCH!
ANARCHY IS TIVO-ING LETTERMAN AND RARELY WATCHING IT.
Ooiii !
(repeat)

6.13.2009

As the Blog Turns, So Do the Days of Our Lives ....

While EHTT blog posts have started to appear again with a bit more regularity there has been quite a lot going on that I have not retold to you, and I feel like blame should fall on the Middle East.

Actually, what it comes down to is my social life has improved tremendously mostly due to my girlfriend’s popularity and her affinity for wine and cheese and tequila. It also has a lot to do with the giant time-suck called Facebook. Ultimately, though, I don’t turn my computer on as much as I have in the past. For instance, I was watching the middle movie of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy with my girlfriend and my son when a bird dive-bombed the cat. I strained my neck trying to see below the window sill how Lucky the Cat would react. The cat was just fine and rather complacent about the whole thing. My neck hurt for long time. My computer was nowhere within reach.

Just remember – you heard it here first.

6.11.2009

Dear people from my dream last night,

First of all, I am really sorry I could only stand there and watch you drive off the cliff (at the end of my driveway). You were in that van with all the windows, driving really fast, and oddly smiling and laughing as your group went over the edge. So, there really was nothing I could do. You should’ve seen how I quickly bounded that rocky ridge, though. It was like I was Free Running or something. Never the less, I was the first one on the scene. In fact, it took just a few seconds it would seem. But, you’d vanished by then. What a great trick. I just wanted you to know, I really did mean to help you. By the way, what was with all those perfect, black boxes with a head of cabbage mounted in each one? The lone purple headed cabbage looked awesome. Was that a velvet lined box or velour? Nice touch! Anyway, I hope you guys are ok. You need to drive slower on my street.

Secondly, to that beautiful girl I tried to kiss, I offer you my apology, too. I really did enjoy the kiss. A lot! I must say you looked identical to my girlfriend. I thought for a minute you really were her. But, then you just vaporized. Poof! I know my girlfriend wouldn’t do that unless she has discovered her superpower. So, just so you know, I can’t let that happen again. But maybe we can have coffee soon.

And to that dude in the orange vest, it is not a roller skate. It is a commute vehicle that gets 34 miles per gallon. I’m sure you and your Hummer don’t understand the concept. Please finish up all that construction. Turn your sign around from Stop to Go Quickly. You are inhibiting my progress. I need to get to work faster. You see, there is a copy machine continuously spitting out reams and reams of paper with nothing on it. I need to fix that problem as it is neither good for the environment nor my job performance.

Anyway, I just wanted you dream people to know. It didn’t feel right to leave it all unfinished. And I’m not sure we need to talk about. I don’t think the real world people would understand anyway. It would take much to long to explain and probably bore the hell out of most. So, see ‘ya ‘round.

Sincerely,

Mud

PS – You are all invited next time for sushi. I love sushi. I could live on Dashi, Dragon Roll, Unagi, that cold Saki in the black n’ gold bottle, and Kirin Ichiban. Although, I should warn you it might not be such a good idea to down it all immediately before bedtime.

6.10.2009

Blog Anniversary Rules

This is a redo/revisit of the first post from my blog Even Happier Than That. I posted it just about one year ago today.

A year ago everything was new and different. Life was changing. Emotions ran high and I needed these rules to keep moving forward.

Today, my rules stay the same. Comments follow....

Rule 1 – Learn to Trust again. Find someone to trust and try trusting them for a while. Wow! Rule number one was quite powerful this last year. Yes, I trust again. I think the difference now is to be trustworthy. I can be that.
Rule 2 – Get everything out of your work. Work is rewarding in and of itself. This economy has made this difficult. But, I’m still working and working hard.
Rule 3 – Be a good friend. Help someone else. I have. I do. I will continue to do so.
Rule 4 – Experiment. Play. Flirt. Enjoy Yourself. This is lighter than you think. This was the fun rule and easy to accomplish when one is ‘single’ every other week.
Rule 5 – Be self disciplined. Slacking is not an option. Not easy after rule number four and a rather lengthy move during the first three or four months of this year, but I’m better here. I must get back to a gym routine again though. Rule number four hasn’t helped out rule number five in that area.
Rule 6 – There is no win and no fail. There is only make. Make. I do make. I write here. I create. I build. I have art projects still to do.
Rule 7 – Work hard toward something. If you work it will lead to more. It is the people who do all the work all the time who eventually catch on to things. I am taking my LEED exam in a few weeks. And I have another professional project right around the corner.
Rule 8 – Don’t try to create and analyze at the same time. They are different processes. I don’t confuse these, ever.
Rule 9 – Always be around. Come or go to everything. I have found very little time for myself because of this rule. I’m not sure why I even need my satellite dish (outside of for my kids). I never sit still anymore and I am always on the go to do something, see friends, or do something with my kids.
Rule 10 – Invent new rules next week. I think I’ll stick with these for a while more.

A year of EHTT ... And I am even happier than that.

6.06.2009

A Dear Jane Letter

Dear A –

This is difficult for me. I may stumble a bit with what I want to say here. So, please give me a bit of latitude. But, but, the reality is I can no longer be in this relationship. I’m sorry.

When I first found myself in your part of town, I found you fresh and new. It was exciting to explore your aisles. In fact, I had to learn a whole new way with you. Normally, I place my produce in my cart last so that my tomatoes and peaches don’t get smooshed. But because you had your coffee stand and the deli right there when you came in the entry door right before the produce section, it just made sense. So, I changed. It was a bit different, but I changed for you.

As you know, I’m a morning person. Our early Saturday ritual became so comfortable. Your family eventually knew my name and everything. They became my family, too. And when my daughter became old enough to go with me and started to join our weekly get together, I looked forward to our time more than ever.

We had some really good times. I loved the way you offered up those fresh cookies and muffins to my Girlie while we shopped and drank our hot chocolates and coffee. You were the first to offer me a cup holder on my cart. That was so cool, too. I must admit I will miss your Asian aisle. Your ethnic offerings really do it for me.

However, things have changed. As you know, I had to move. It wasn’t my choice. But life comes at you fast at times and I’ve since relocated across town. It isn’t a long-term residence. I’m only renting. But it is close to the kid’s school. I know you understand. All in all, we are happier now.

The thing is, this isn’t about me. You’ve changed. Oh, I stayed away while you went through all that cosmetic stuff. I had to. I know you get that. And I must admit, you look really good now. But, see, that is part of the problem. You’re too good. You don’t need me anymore. You are so popular these days. Even my daughter asks if we can go visit you. It is so hard to tell her no. She doesn’t understand because she is only 10.

Quite honestly, I’ll admit the other reason is that I run the risk now of stumbling into my ex-wife with you again. That is too painful, not to mention awkward as hell. I just can’t see the two of you together sharing that melon thumping experience and ogling over the best cucumber. It made me feel dirty and even now still gives me a cold shiver just thinking about it.

So, we are over. And just in case you hear from someone else, I think you should know directly from me that I’ve found another. ‘V’ has everything I need. You might remember, we had a ten-year relationship before I started seeing you. We used to live just an apple throw away back then. And now that I’m living over in the neighborhood again, we’ve reacquainted. In fact, you may remember a few years back ‘V’ did that cosmetic thing, too.

You should know it isn’t just ‘V’. I’m single right now, so I’m occasionally involved with a hip little thing during my lunch hour from work. ‘TJ’, as best known, gives me a unique experience. I find myself wanting to experiment much more and try new things. Soy flax seed chips, fresh flowers, and $2 wine has a certain appeal. You can’t compete with that, no doubt.

I also have a monthly fling in a private club. I’m not even embarrassed to admit that to you. ‘CC’ is so big. You have to posses a special card to get inside. It is so exclusive! I can stock up on things like cereal and granola bars. You know how my kids eat. Sometimes, I feel my little commute car isn’t big enough to hold all the boxes of stuff. I never had that issue with you before. You never gave me more than I could handle, though I would have liked the challenge. ‘CC’ has socks. You don’t offer me socks. Consistently, I can find my pork loin for around $1.59 a pound. Granted, storage can be an issue at times. That is half of the game. ‘CC’ is amazing.

You should know that I am in quite the demand these days. I get notices in the mail on a weekly basis. Yes, I still get your colorful propositions, too. But, I’ve been exploring and testing the waters. You should keep an eye on that neighbor Spencer across the street from you. Spence isn’t big. Nobody but a few us locals are in the know. But Spencer makes your end of town worth the trip some weekends. Spence is quite the breast man. So, I might still see you around when I’m in the neighborhood to get my fill of breastesses. Maybe.

Anyway, I guess this is it. I know in my heart this isn’t goodbye. In fact, I still see your sister to north from time to time. She is the closest place to my Lover. I know, I know. For now, though, we need to part ways. Tempt me again with one of those two-for-one milk jug deals, I might have to stop by for old times sake. But no promises, o.k.?!

You take care. I gotta go.

- Mud

6.04.2009

Can O' Black Beans

I get the fact there exist young adults half my age that are, in fact, cooler than me. When I was their age I might not have been ‘that’ hip, but I was equally as far away from sansabelt slacks. So there! That just might be THE measuring stick for coolness. Debatable! Maybe.....

But no, I’ve come to a place where these young adults have no clue as to the era that WAS my music. Oh, RockBand and GuitarHero are ushering in a pathetic introduction. Secretly, I’m happy my son knows a few old tunes that we can share. But, there exists a whole generation missing a link of music history. The immediacy of downloading music seems to have unraveled the process and magic of opening the plastic from an album or even a compact disc to read the poetry. I yearn to teach that to a class (like the ‘Music of the 60’s’ class when I was in college in the 80’s)….

Wow! Did you feel that? Flashback. That happened quick, yes?! The kids of today look at 80’s music like we did the music of the 60’s. Ouch!

Anyway, I was disheartened the other day to hear The Replacements through the grocery store PA system as I compared prices of the generic black beans with a name brand of which I had a coupon in hand. Those two pieces of life should rarely cross. The Replacements and coupon shopping don’t mix in my heart. It is a personal violation of sorts. But, these days things mix without permission. They do so with a dagger's hurt at times. “Left of the Dial” and grocery carts have little in common in my reality. But, thus is life.

It was all soothed when the girl baggin’ my groceries bobbed her head and sang the lyrics to that well known Bon Jovi lyric, “You Give Love a Brand Name”.

I smiled all the way to car with the grocery cart wheel kicking sideways to the beat in my head. I was all of a sudden glad I saved the 35 cents and got the generic can o' black beans.

I was thankful she hadn't screwed up the wrong lyrics to "Romeo in Black Jeans".