Dear People from My Dream Saturday Night

Dear people from my dream Saturday night (The Sequal),

Wow. I must say, you all look phenomenal. Really, you really surprised me. If I acted a bit stoic, it was out of sheer amazement in your company.

I was so honored to have THE Jerry Rice and THE Barry Sanders in my little driveway. I love you guys. Tossing the Michigan football was cool. Barry, I’m seriously bummed you left without saying a word though. First, a word would have been good. Any word. Hello even. I don’t have many idols, but you make the list of celebrity dinner invitees. And then, when I came back from grabbing my new jersey with your name and number on it, you had vanished. I was really hoping to get some running back advice for my fantasy league team. See, Chris Johnson and Ray Rice are no-brainers this week. But I’m not sure if I should go with Ricky Williams as my flex player or not. I might go with TJ Houshmazilli (“Championship!”). Jerry seemed to think wide receiver was the way to go. Go figure. But, I’m really leaning toward running backs as the season progresses. Anyway, are you going to be at the Detroit-Cleveland game next weekend? Let’s get together for a tailgate beer or something. I’d like you to meet my fiancé. She’s awesome. She’s a Giants fan, though. Sorry. But she likes football, which is important for me as you know.

Mrs. Beatty, I’m glad you are still kickin’. I don’t know where my mom and dad could have been. I think they were still on a cruise. I must apologize for being at a parent-teacher conference without the parents. I am one now, you know. A parent, that is. In fact, Science is my son’s favorite subject outside of math. And, yes, I am sorry for calling you Old Lady Beatty behind your back. I was in seventh grade. I didn’t think it was wrong at the time. More importantly, I didn’t think you heard me what with you being so old and hard of hearing. Anyway, I was thinking about what you said and I don’t think I need to redo that report on Madame Curie. You already gave me an A-. I’m good with that. Also, you should try wearing pants. It is 2009. Teachers can do that now. Although, those horn-rimmed glasses are still rather rockin’.

Holy carpentry, Batman! Carl, it was good to see you, too. I know we are FB friends n’ all these days and you haven’t been on-line much, but I was rather surprised you showed up at my little construction project. My embarrassment stemmed more from not recognizing you, I think. You’ve shaved. The beard was good. You should keep it. Oh, and thank you for the pointers on my craftsmanship, or lack thereof. Indeed, everything is as level and plumb as I could get it given the existing conditions, the brick-like soil, re-use of old wood, and the sloped patio. Biligi would say “it eese kind of nice”, though he would also say it is “sheet”. It is, after all, just a simple, wooden gate at the side of the house. Carl I wish you would have stayed and grabbed a hammer for old time’s sake. Yes, I am going to rebuild that one section. That part is “sheet”. Am I supposed to keep your dog now? I think she misses you and I have my doubts about her getting along with Lucky, the cat.

So, thanks for visiting me again. I hope we can do it again soon. Let me know ahead of time, though. I’d really like to be more prepared for these visits. I do love that you all took the time, but I just feel so unprepared. I hate that feeling.

Until next time.

Sincerely,

Mud

PS – We missed you at the Mudhole-Paso Robles High School football game. It was fun. I’ll warn you to stay away from those tri-tip sandwiches next time. My stomach loudly played tag football with Muppets all night long. Even the cat needed more quiet, subsequently sleeping on the far side of the bed. Tasty, though!