11.04.2010

A Group of .... Is called a ....

I just read a piece from an email subscription of which I belong. It listed the following “groups”.
- A group of unicorns is called a blessing.
- Twelve or more cows are known as a flink.
- A group of frogs is called an army.
- A group of rhinos is called a crash.
- A group of kangaroos is called a mob.
- A group of whales is called a pod.
- A group of geese is called a gaggle.
- A group of ravens is called a murder.
- A group of officers is called a mess.
- A group of larks is called an exaltation.
- A group of owls is called a parliament.

That being said, we are missing a great opportunity here. Here are a few I’d like to start using on a daily basis.

- A group of 15 year old slacker boys should be called a loaf.
- A group of 12 year old girls at a birthday party sleepover should be called a shriek.
- The water-cooler crowd at the office should be a rumor.
- Two or more adults all posting their whereabouts by cell phones at the same time should be called a twitter. (Oh, wait)
- More than three winemakers together in a room should be called a spit. Or (this one is not mine), terroirists.
- If you are a Mac, your friends are all Macs, and you all talk Mac together you are a core.
- Smokers huddled together outside of bars should be a cloud.

Add yours in the comments.

If You Take Your Ball and Go Home, They Still Win

“Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote.” - William E. Simon
The final numbers aren’t in yet for national voter turnout Tuesday as absentees are still being counted. The preliminary numbers vary depending on the area and the source. Some places were up to about 43% or more, which is pretty good for a mid-term election.

But understand one thing. You suck if you didn’t vote on Tuesday. You’re disastrously foolish if you believe your abstinence from the ballot box is teaching those darn politicians a lesson. Sending them a message by NOT voting is like taking your ball and going home. You do know we just continue to play without you, right?! And we talk about you when you leave saying things like, “What a spoil sport!” Or, “That guy is a total downer! Who invited her anyway?!” Better yet, “What a whiner!”

See, that is the point. The politicians really don’t want you to cast a vote. They don’t want to hear you whine. They hold more power when they don’t have to answer to your complaints, criticisms, opinions, or your vote. So quite honestly, the best way for them to avoid you is get you to go home or walk away.

Getting you to stay home is pure marketing genius. It is negative marketing at its core, but genius none-the-less. It is the foundation of the attack ads where the goal between both candidates is to generate so much bad will in the public that you give up altogether. You walk away from it all in order to avoid the whole uncomfortable mess.

What I don’t understand is why you haven’t figured this out yet. You are being manipulated. You are being purposefully pushed out of the system. Hell, they are giving you their own ball so that you will go home and not play. Then they can do whatever the hell they want or can habitually get away with.

So, to put a better marketing spin on this whole voting responsibility thing, let’s start with this one. Voting is completely free and there are parts of the world where a citizen has no say. So this is highly valuable, this free voting thing. Where else can you say Free = Valuable !?

Even better, given the absentee ballot you can vote at home. You can talk about the candidates and issues with a significant other or a phone call with a friend.

Voting doesn’t take a ton of time. In fact, it is approximately the length of time it takes to sit on the couch and enjoy a beer. Snacks are optional.

Voting is easy. Remember the ScanTron test. You can fill in a bubble with No. 2 pencil, yes?

The hardest part is having an opinion. And in most cases, having an opinion means you need to know the reasons and justifications to back it up. However, here is a “Get Out of Jail Free Card” for that one. Voting can be as private as you want it to be. Let your vote do the talking for you. Nobody else has a right to know how you voted. It is just between you and your ScanTron.

Ultimately, even if you are fairly disgusted about the options today, vote. Find a differentiator between the options and vote, if nothing but for the least offensive choice. But, vote. Stay in the game.

Although, when the follow-up pollsters call your house to ask how and why you voted, tell them you voted for the candidate/issue with the most positive message. If nothing else, that alone might make significant changes for the better.