The Heart During Winter

In Winter, the heart holds reflection,
Knowing the solitude of self-determination.
It looks for echoes and significance,
In the exchange of a familiar hand.

Yet, wintertime draws one inward.
Beckoning firelight warms a hope within.
The winter heart lies snug inside,
Revisiting a day’s sunny ski slope.

Now is the time to discover meaning.
Defying control. Fostering consciousness.
Lifting viewpoints. Raising awareness.
Assessing plans for the future.

The heart in winter longs for rebirth,
To peer through the dark for a reason,
To ask and question. The Why.
To seek out a coming season's identity.

Remains of a Man's Day

That haunting movie was on again the other day and, after hours on the road within the last few weeks, it hasn't quite left the brain. The other day the t.v. remote found the instinctive impulse to stop and take another peak, if only to remind oneself of the soft underbelly of a respectful, middle-aged man. It isn't quite the Halloween scare you'd think, but rather a mental numbness of another sort.

It has been over 20 years since I was dragged kicking and screaming to see the movie The Remains of the Day. Yet the image of Anthony Hopkins, Mr. Stevens the Butler, sticks in one’s mind. Although the character is a man of honor and dignity, he is, for the most part, alone and unfulfilled. Empty. It is a fairly dark image of a man countered by a hefty respect for long hours, hard work, and putting the needs of others first.

It isn't currently important, really, just timely. When the movie was released in the early late 80s I saw it and I understood it, but did not truly get it. Fresh out of college, not yet married, and just starting a professional life of work, I was still in the making. The movie should have been forgettable and unremarkable to the college self save for the fact I knew men like Mr. Stevens. I worked with them. They were former professors. They were the middle class dads of friends and collegues who grew out of the depression era influenced generation ahead of me. It is a bit of my own father, who devoted his artistic soul to a vibrant career in music to struggle with early retirement and only a handful of gigs to satisfy his soul. And it is now me, twenty years into a career of giving my talents and dedication to one work project after another and coming home to happily cook, chauffer the kids, and attend to all the elements divorced/re-married dads do.

The Mr. Stevens character tapped into the silence and the unspoken hush of most dignified men. His self reflection is not lost on me. It is the dark, tacit part of us men not often shared. Though it could be Halloween-esque, it isn’t really a scary depressing place at all. It resembles center stage of an empty theater with a single, glowing bulb. It is a cigar, a glass of scotch, and an hour by oneself on the back patio. It is fishing or driving in silence. It is being. Respectful. Contemplative. Alone.

Men don’t share it because the answer is almost too simple. Get into the game. Stay in the light. Just leave the darkened mind-set and let that Emma Thompson character know of your true feelings and life can be complete. Yes, it can. I have. And, I am immensely happier for making the leap and trusting again. I didn't follow the script. But...

Apologies if you have read to this end with no real conclusion to offer up. All this rambling makes for incredibly boring reading, I'm sure. Most blogs of note get much further in today’s on-line culture by loudly bitching about something. But, to mer there is a sense of celebration in the balance between a man’s light and dark. One thrives in this balance. And that is ok.

Although he wasn't a role model, per se, Mr. Stevens taught me something once. And it has become clearer at the end of this day.

The Heart During Spring

In spring, the heart seems limitless,
Knowing no boundaries of soul.
It’s busy with thought and activity,
And hungers to leap all anew.

Yet, springtime tenders insecurity.
Cruel cold fronts blowing hearts back to winter.
The wild spring heart tethered to dreams,
Often flooded, thwacked back in retreat.

Now is the time to get things in order.
Design schemes. Create goals and ideals.
Mend that that has been torn.
Test the resiliency of being.

The heart in spring has a challenge,
To follow the beat and the Spirit,
To see and to test. Study and appraise.
To prepare for life and love in the summer.

In Seeking the Answer or the Question

Love lives now,
In a fragile place, in a fragile time, with fragile steps.

Love breathes now,
In quiet talks, in quiet moments, with quiet whispers.

Love dreams now,
In deep sleep, in brilliant light, with open eyes.

Love works now,
In labor of, without complexities, with pride.

Who among us has ever dreamed of a love,
Based on truth, complete with honesty, as equals?

Life's Lyrics 17 - Something Coming Over

Yep. Like I'd written it myself... from O.A.R.

Who's that with his arms around you?
Making eyes at you that way?
Looks in love, man it looks familiar
Damn, it's me
Never thought I'd see that day
It's like I came to from sleeping
No more bed rails
I'm pulled to daylight by your voice
Not that I had any choice

Now there's something coming over me
I know it's you
And there's someone that I used to be
But he is through
And I know that it's forever
And it's hard to do
There's something coming over me
I know it's you

And now we're talking 'bout the future
And a future wide open
If we love, it'll be the best place
I've ever been
And it was you to the rescue
Did I mention that I've never felt like this before?
I'm powerless to fight it anymore

Now there's something coming over me
I know it's you
And there's someone that I used to be
But he is through
And I know that it's forever
And it's hard to do
There's something coming over me
I know it's you

Used to watch this game from the sidelines
Now it's time to get on in and play
You've been waiting there for me for my whole life
I saw you, I saw you
And I know that it's forever
And it's hard to do
There's something coming over me
I know it's you

Now there's something coming over me
I know it's you
And there's someone that I used to be
But he is through
And I know that it's forever
And it's hard to do
There's something coming over me
I know it's you

Life's Lyrics 13 - Lucky to Know You

Luke Reynolds is now leading the band Pictures and Sound, a previous Life's Lyrics. Before P&S, he was the front man for a band called Blue Merle. Lot's of words here I identify with, repeat and sing in my heart ... moving forward. This is my poetry, if I had written these lines....

Friday morning all alone
One by one the stars
each say goodbye
Yeah pictures and a thousand words
A thousand miles turning into song

And I want you to know
I feel lucky to know you
Cut open my heart
And you'll see that it's true
I want you to know
I feel lucky to know you
I feel lucky to know you

Yeah summer fades into fall
And with it
Came the writing on the wall
So I sent a thousand letters on the
Backs of silver angels
through the sky

And I want you to know
I feel lucky to know you
Cut open my heart
And you'll see that it's true
I want you to know
I feel lucky to know you
I feel lucky to know you

I took a drive it's what I do
And wrote another song (poem) for you
The things we want
The things we crave
We have no choice the choice is made

And I want you to know
I feel lucky to know you
Cut open my heart
And you'll see that it's true
I want you to know
I feel lucky to know you
I feel lucky to know you
I feel lucky to know...

Friday morning all alone
And one by one
The stars each say goodbye