X

This is a story about Roberta.

Roberta is a gadget girl. She can’t live without ‘X’. Pick any ‘X’ as long as ‘X’ resembles a cell phone or laptop computer or an iPod. It could be a GPS system in her new car. It could be the ‘X’ in Xbox. Roberta gets a new camera or recording device every time new technology leaps forward. Roberta is a Mac, though she also owns a ThinkPad for work, a Kindle, and a Blackberry (as a backup to her iPhone). Roberta travels with an extra suitcase just to transport the miscellaneous devices and plethora of needed power cables. Even her cat has a micro-chip imbedded under its fur as a digital cat tag in case the animal gets lost or stuck in a tree someplace.

In the ‘70s, Roberta was the first girl on the block to get Pong. She had both Beta and VHS and an eight-track in her Camero. She was the first to jog with a clunky Sony Walkman. Roberta was cool (in her bell-bottom jeans and feathered Farah Fawcett hair). She had a lot of friends and admirers (and a daddy with a lot of cash).

Not much has changed for Roberta. She leads the charge in the digital age. She is a technological, Charles Darwin study in the flesh. She simply can’t live without the next ‘X’ today. She depends on it. It is her livelihood.

Roberta was at the local wine bar a few months ago. She was there on a stool at the bar, socially active and engaged in the scene, yet paying her bills electronically from her phone. She sent the transfer from her bank with a push of button on the tiny screen, twittered her location to her friends, and then casually sipped from her glass of Spanish Grenache. She talks, techs, and sips at the same time. Roberta is impressive.

On her way home she stopped by her neighborhood TJ’s to get a quick something to heat up for dinner. Given all her talents and good looks, Roberta doesn’t cook and her hyper-efficient refrigerator with the digital blue screen on the door houses little for actual sustenance inside. In the parking lot, for some unknown reason, she left her purse in the car, opting for a moment or two where she didn’t have to shoulder all that stuff in her bag. And, while she browsed the isles of packaged food with only her debit card in her back pocket, her car was stolen.

Imagine what might happen if one’s entire digital and electronic life vanished. What would you do? How does one repair the personal, albeit technical, violation of one’s life?

For Roberta it started out with a private moment on the curb next to the vacant car slot and a recently purchased bottle of beer. She didn’t panic, but she did start counting all the missing gadgets: both cell phones, her iPod, two laptop computers, her camera, numerous thumb drives with vital information (some classified), a Kindle, and one military grade Taser ( a gift). Oh, and the car. She did still have her debt card.

So, she trudged back inside the store and asked for help and a phone. The first call went to the police. The second call she placed to work, as she was at that very moment taking a two week vacation.

I’m sorry to say, there is no end to this story. Yet!

The car was never found. Her gadgets have never been recovered. And Roberta is still on vacation. The cat is still home. Somebody, I’m sure, is feeding it.

Last week, a small crowd of friends gathered around that neighborhood bar. They read from a postcard with a Mexican stamp. The postmark showed it was mailed from the Yucatan. All it said was, “Dear Friends, Life has improved. I miss you guys. But, I have to go. My next margarita has arrived and I want to finish the last chapter from my paperback before the sun sets. Take care.” And then it was signed with an ‘X’.

Roberta is not returning texts and emails. So, nobody can confirm if 'X' is Roberta.