A Bond, James Bond

Times have changed. Decades ago sons would be mentored by their fathers, preparing themselves for the time when they’d take over the family farm or the furniture business, join the law firm after school, become a teacher, or essentially follow in their father’s footsteps in some way. The Industrial Revolution took fathers away into factories where kids couldn’t really see “Dad in action”. And now, modern divorce rates have started a trend of “weekend dads” or, in my case, an “every other week dad”.

I miss the daily, close proximity which I think is healthy for my son (and daughter). But, it is what it is, and I make it a priority to put my energies into something that can resonate. If modern ways have led to a physical separation for periods of time, I need to find way of keeping the sacred father-son bond intact.

So ... we bond, James Bond.

Last night, my son and I found ourselves home alone as The Girlie spent the night at a friend’s house.

My son asked sheepishly, “What do you want to do? Rent some video games and hang out?” He obviously wanted interaction with his dad.

“Yeah,” I thought. I searched for something in my brain that could be somewhat bonding and accomplished without spending any money. “Let’s see ... You’ve got leftover pizza and I want to make these crab cakes so I have lunches this week. But yeah, let’s make dinner, take some beverages up to the couch and just hang.”

So we set out making dinner. He even helped me chop up the red onions and cilantro. He heated up his pizza and he watched me pan fry my crab cakes. We talked. We quickly cleaned up. I grabbed a beer, he a glass of milk, and we headed up the stairs to the couch.

“Want to watch a movie?” he suggested. “You haven’t let me watch that new Bond movie, yet!” He’s good. He knows it is my favorite. And we’ve been letting him watch PG-13s these days.

“Absolutely,” I enthusiastically responded. “Put, it in and cue it up.”

And we watched it together and heartily laughed at this ...

Vesper Lynd: [after discussing poker skills on the train] What else can you surmise, Mr. Bond?
James Bond: About you, Miss Lynd? Well, your beauty's a problem. You worry you won't be taken seriously.
Vesper Lynd: Which one can say of any attractive woman with half a brain.
James Bond: True. But this one overcompensates by wearing slightly masculine clothing. Being more aggressive than her female colleagues. Which gives her a somewhat *prickly* demeanor, and ironically enough, makes it less likely for her to be accepted and promoted by her male superiors, who mistake her insecurities for arrogance. Now, I'd have normally gone with "only child," but by the way you ignored the quip about your parents... I'm going to have to go with "orphan."
Vesper Lynd: All right... by the cut of your suit, you went to Oxford or wherever. Naturally you think human beings dress like that. But you wear it with such disdain, my guess is you didn't come from money, and your school friends never let you forget it. Which means that you were at that school by the grace of someone else's charity: hence that chip on your shoulder. And since your first thought about me ran to "orphan," that's what I'd say you are.
[he smiles but says nothing]
Vesper Lynd: Oh, you are? I like this poker thing. And that makes perfect sense! Since MI6 looks for maladjusted young men, who give little thought to sacrificing others in order to protect queen and country. You know... former SAS types with easy smiles and expensive watches.
[Glances at his wrist]
Vesper Lynd: Rolex?
James Bond: Omega.
Vesper Lynd: Beautiful. Now, having just met you, I wouldn't go as far as calling you a cold-hearted bastard...
James Bond: No, of course not.
Vesper Lynd: But it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine. You think of women as disposable pleasures, rather than meaningful pursuits. So as charming as you are, Mr. Bond, I will be keeping my eye on our government's money - and off your perfectly-formed arse.
James Bond: You noticed?
Vesper Lynd: Even accountants have imagination. How was your lamb?
James Bond: Skewered! One sympathizes.

It is good Bond dialogue.

Granted, we only watched a movie. We paused it numerous times so I could explain the subtleties of the Bond thing. We had a great time. We Bonded.

I believe if I make it a priority, as a father, to pass on my knowledge and experience, my son will reap the benefits. He will have a sense of place and a personal identity. Tonight we cooked and just hung out. It is debatable as to what he might have gleaned from James Bond. But there are worse roll models out there. Right?